So, this will be old news to some and new news to others. I think it’s freaky shit, no matter which way you slice it.
Last March, members of Congress, religious leaders, and assorted drinkers of Kool-Aid attended a ceremony in the Dirksen Senate Office Building (your tax dollars at work, kids!). There, people gave speeches, Congressmen read poems, a guy blew a shofar, and then Sun Myung Moon (who strikes me as a minister who’s of the same theological school as I am, and I was ordained online, which shows how much credence I put in the whole thing) and his wife were presented with robes and a crown. By Congressmen.
Now, call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure our country declared independence and fought a war because we thought the whole crowning and royalty thing was a load of dingo’s kidneys. I’m not even happy there’s pop royalty. Divine Right is a crock, and anyone involved in the whole king-and-queen thing has to work to get my trust and respect (though I’ve heard nice things about Queen Beatrix).
Anyway, someone shot a promo video for this and a bunch of other Moon events, and then some intrepid geeks found it and passed it around, probably with the Subject line like, “You’re not gonna belive this shit, but…” Moon’s people got wise and yanked the video, but now John Gorenfeld has whipped up a BitTorrent file of the movie. I’ve seen it, and, hey, you’re not gonna believe this shit, but…
I whipped up a torrent of my own, and put it here. Get yourself the BT client, and start spreading the love around.
The Web has memory, even if tv, print and radio misplaced theirs. Watch, and remember why we don’t have kings in this country.
So, we have one of those groovy meat thermometers with presets for various types of meat and a timer that beeps when the food approaches Optimal Doneness. It’s a cool concept, and it certainly takes care of those “Is it done yet?” moments where you have to rely on timers and hope your stuff is done when you take it off the grill. There’s a problem, though: I’m inside, and the grill’s outside. Now, I can camp out and wait for dinner to finish, but I also have to manage with the rest of dinner. So, here’s what I want: a meat thermometer with WiFi capability.
Really.
Think about it: if I wired up the entire house with network terminals everywhere, like I’ve always wanted, I could get the meat thermometer to send its signal to the house when the meat’s done.
So, if some EE wants to get to work on it, I’ll be more than happy to be your tester.
Well, the past hour of farting around with WP has only shown how much I know squat about layout tech since 1996. When CSS came along, I tried to climb the learning curve, but it was lined with rows of pretty girls, fine beers, and other jobs. Learning CSS was something that had nothing to do with programming video games, so I said screw it. I only need a place to write.
The problem with that attitude has reared its ugly head. I look at the Shake-N-Bake layout that came with WP, and I think: this looks like every other ugly-ass blog in the world. Really. It’s awful. I mean, it’s nice, but it’s like everything else. I think I’m too much of a futzer to sit and leave things as they are. Where’s the earthy palette I was trying to use? Where’s the browns and ochers? How in the world do I make this page better?
The answer, of course, is CSS. And farting around with the PHP templates (another tech to learn!), just to make it all fit. I know I sneered at web front-end programming before, saying it was easy and not worth the effort. The Universe, as usual, is making me eat my words. With relish. And some grilled onions and kraut, too.
So…this is what WordPress is like, eh? Sweet.
Hi, this is Aaron Brown for CNN, and I'm here, live, at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, California, where crowds have gathered in a vigil for former President Ronald Reagan, who died early this afternoon. With me is Ed Gillespe, chairman of the RNC. Sad day, isn't it, Ed?
Yes, it certainly is, Aaron. But there's a silver lining to this heavy cloud.
What's that?
Well, for the next month we're going to hear nothing but Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. Now that he's dead, there'll be nothing but encomiums and praise for the President.
Well, yes, surely no one will speak ill of the dead…
…nor the living! For the next month, people will think of Ronald Reagan, or St. Ron as we like to call him-we're working on getting him beatified in the next few days-and they'll think back with fond memories of his strong leadership, his clear communication, his vision, and then they'll transfer all of their affection to George W. Bush. The President can only benefit from St. Ron's passing.
Ed, you're not talking about the Republicans politicizing Ronald Reagan's passing, are you?
You bet your sweet boots we are, Aaron. Oh, we'll be subtle about it: we'll have a tribute at the convention, we'll have lots of speeches while he lies in state in the Capitol, we'll work on getting him either on the dime or the ten-dollar bill. I mean, who was a greater leader? St. Ron or FDR? And, Alexander Hamilton? Since when do we put Treasury Secretaries on money? Can you even remember who our current Secretary of the Treasury is?
Well, I…
Of course you can't. But you remember Ronald Reagan, right? Right? So, sad day, but it's nothing but good news for us. Especially since our current strategy of highlighting George W. Bush's leadership qualities haven't been doing that well for us. We plan on riding his funeral bier all the back to the White House. Hell, why not create the Reagan Monument and have his preserved body lie there for future generations to enjoy?
You don't think that Reagan, a staunch anti-Communist, would disagree with that?
No, why would he?
Because that's what the Communists did with their dead leaders?
Pfft People today don't remember any of that! All they know is the Communists were bad, and St. Ron rode his war charger El Alamein across Western Europe, spreading the word of democracy and freedom, and how they leapt over the Iron Curtain to crush Communists and destroy their Evil Empire with his heat vision.
Um…thank you, Ed.
-Bush in '04, Reagan in '08, baby!
From Santa Monica, this is Aaron Brown for CNN.