Also, for all you know, that woman could have had her badge pulled at some of the conventions she’s attended. SF conventions don’t have a lot of options for throwing people out, unless what they’re doing is literally illegal.

Say you pull her badge. What then? She’s still a registered guest at the hotel for the weekend. There’s nothing you can do about that. If she stays, she’ll have legitimate access to all the public areas of the hotel, including lobbies, corridors, bars, restaurants, and elevators. All you can do is keep her out of the function space: art show, dealers’ room, consuite, and programming rooms.

If she respects that rule, you’ve still got her in some of your major convention areas. If she doesn’t, the task of keeping her out is going to land on the shoulders of little seventeen-year-old convention volunteers who are doing badger duty at doorways. They’re not up to dealing with a large, aggressive, mentally disturbed woman who’s upset about having her badge pulled. And unless you station badgers at every function-space door, the Fan From Hell is still going to get in.

Finally, there are no sanctions you can impose that won’t hit her kid harder than they hit her.

What can you do? Believe it or not, many of those seriously clueless convention attendees already know that they’re bad at picking up social cues. They respond well to having the situation explained to them in clear, simple, non-judgemental terms:

– I’m sorry, you can’t sit in on this conversation. We’re discussing professional business.

– You’ve already had your time with [celebrity]. You need to stop bothering him now.

– I’m sorry, I don’t like being hugged by strangers.

– Our group is going out to dinner, but we can’t invite you to come with us, because we’ve all agreed to limit the party to six.

– Please stop playing the piano. We’re not doing live music at this party. (Or: Playing live music at this party is by invitation only.)

If that doesn’t work, try firmness. Two or three people standing there with their arms folded, saying “You’ll have to leave now,” can generally get the message across.

If they’re so out of control that even firm, clear verbal commands can’t get through, get their address and contact social services in her area. The Fan From Hell may or may not be beyond help, but that kid of hers desperately needs it.

But having committed to running a public event for a broad audience, being an arbiter of hygiene standards and ettiquette is both a difficult position to be in (its mired in legalities, difficult to legally enforce, etc) and not at all what we want to spend our conventions doing. Fundamentally social problems should have social solutions — what gets me is why everyone else at the convention is tolerating it too.

Where do you draw the line? That person who causes burning sensations, watery eyes, itching, swelling and nausea in other people? Draw it right in front of him/her.

…Rumble Girls rawked!

*gets stuffed into locker*

Sweet Jebus. I’ve just gone out for the football team.