Oh. Right.
Tuesday October 31st 2006, 10:33 am
So, Scott dropped in on Saturday, and, while we were talking about racing next year (and, yes, we all are. I’m planning on a triumphant return to Camp Pendleton, where I’ll rip through that course like a ferret on crank [note to self: don't forget crank-flavored gels]), he brought up our little pact from last year: that he and I would race Ironman New Zealand in 2007.
Now, while we could still get in, the chances of us surviving the course without permanently damaging ourselves are slim to Oh-Sweet-Mother-Of-God-That-Hurts, so we pushed it to 2008. So, I declare now in front of all the Intar-Tubes: I am going to enter Ironman New Zealand 2008, and I will finish it without throwing up. However, I reserve the right to weep copious tears around mile twenty-one of the marathon.
Junk Mail Derby: Update 2
Monday October 30th 2006, 5:20 pm
It’s been a busy two weeks since our last venture to the mailbox, and it ain’t getting any prettier. Some new candidate mailers, some ballot initiative screeds, and more dead trees. Spin, Founding Fathers, spin!
I’m redoing my measurements: from now one, I’m counting who’s spending the money. Which means a candidate may be on a mailer, but unless it’s stated he’s spending the bread, it won’t go in his tally.
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Dear Aaron Sorkin: We’re through
Wednesday October 18th 2006, 10:02 am
I know. It’s a hard thing to say good-bye, and there’s never an easy way to say it. We’ve had some good times together, some good laughs, some reflective moments, some powerful drama. But you’ve got a problem, Aaron, and it’s this: your life does not make for good work.
Yes, I know, you think otherwise, and you convinced the people at NBC that your way is the right way. You always were persuasive. I loved that about you. But when you’re persuading people that the three day-old Big Mac that you’ve just microwaved is the same as a grassfed bison burger with heirloom tomatoes, carmelized onions and smoked gouda served on a La Brea Bakery kaiser roll…
Sorry, just thinking about lunch. Anyway, Sorkin, your show sucks ass. Studio 60 blows. The only shining point is Matthew Perry, and even I’m not buying his character anymore, simply because everything in the show is handwaving and showing. Someone who’s supposed to be as good a writer as you should have put all that behind a long time ago. Instead, we’re wallowing in your self-righteous indignation that you, Aaron Sorkin, Modern Television Prometheus, are stuck working in a medium full of brain-dead, lowest common denominator garbage that only you can save through daring, quality programming.
To which I say: you’re right. That’s why I watch The Wire on BitTorrent.
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Santa Monica Campaign Mailers Election Junk Rally 2006
Wednesday October 11th 2006, 8:12 pm
That’s right, folks, it’s that magical time of the year: the days are short, the nights are cold, and the election flyers from the campaign whores starts filling up your mailbox and raising your blood pressure. It’s Santa Monica Campaign Mailers Election Junk Rally 2006, and I’ve never been more excited in my life. Why? Because I already know who’s gonna win (Santa Monicans for Sensible Priorities and their slate) and who’s gonna lose (the citizens of Santa Monica).
The rules are simple: every time I get a new piece of junk mail asking me to vote for this candidate or against that proposition, I keep it and let you know. That builds up the betting pool where everyone throws in their predictions for who’s going to send in the most mailers. Whoever gets the right number and mailer wins the smug self-satisfaction of gauging a special interest group’s thirst for power (though you’ll also lose, since whoever you wanted to win probably won’t).
Now, it wasn’t a rally until we got something from someone else, and after today’s harvest, it’s on! So, in the pool we have:
Bob Holbrook, current mayor of Santa Monica, running for re-election on the city council: three solo mailers, two slate mailers
Gleam Davis (swear to God, that’s the name she put down), local busybody, running for city council: one solo mailer (that looks suspicously just like one of Bob’s, which means they’re either getting funding from the same group of bastards or there’s just a standard template for campaign mailers)
Terry O’Day, city planning commissioner, running for city council: two slate mailers (both with Bob)
And special mention goes to Santa Monicans for Sensible Priorities, the shady front group for the Ocean Avenue hotels who calls itself a “nonpartisan organization concerned about city governance issues” but now has to fund a PAC in order to endorse candidates. The two shared mailers with Bob and Terry are both funded by SMSPPAC, whose major funding is from “hospitality providers and the Edward Thomas Management Company.” ETMC manages Shutters; I guess if you can’t buy legislation, then you buy the legislators, right?
So, there are your ponies for your initial bets. If you live in Santa Monica and have gotten junk mail of your own, let me know and I’ll add it to the pool.
Gloating is for the weak…but it sure feels good
Wednesday October 04th 2006, 11:45 am
The conservative neighbor of a conservative friend whipped up a cute little sign a few months ago: I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheny than driving with Ted Kennedy.
I am so very, very tempted to whip up a sign of my own and stick it on both of their lawns, one that says: I’d rather let my daughter drive with Ted Kennedy than my son work for Mark Foley. But I won’t, because that would be cheap and petty.
However, if someone wanted to put that on a t-shirt, I’d probably buy one. Or two. And mail them off, along with a couple of slices of good ol’ schadenfreude pie.
