My brother just left a wonderfully profane review of the fourth Indiana Jones movie on my voicemail. It started with “EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIENS? WHAT THE FUCK?” and ended with “Harrison Ford deserves a nutpunch” with some extra abuse for George Lucas. I texted back that Lucas is now working on a live-action version of Robotech. More profanity ensued.
Here is the cast I came up with:
Rick Hunter – Shia LaBoeuf
Minmei – Miley Cyrus
Lisa Hayes – Britney Spears (in my version, Minmei and Lisa sing duets about Rick Hunter)
Captain Gloval – Harrison Ford (note Mr. Ford’s accent work in K19: The Widowmaker)
Roy Fokker – Will Farrell (but played as Ron Burgundy)
Claudia Grant – Beyoncé Knowles
Max Sterling – Jon “Napoleon Dynamite” Heder
Ben Dixon – Seth Rogan (I think this would actually work well)
Miriya – Maggie “Shannon the Spoiled Rich Girl from Lost” Grace
Azonia – Carmen Electra
Khyron – Orlando Bloom
Exedore – Rob Schneider
Bretai – Shaquille O’Neal (who would go one-on-one with a Veritech)
Did I miss anyone? Is there any way to make this cast more awful? And can we keep it from the people who really are making a live-action Robotech?
The George Lucas-Robotech thing was just me yanking my brother’s chain, so we’re safe there.
We just have to worry about the guys who created Smallville screwing it up instead.
Comment by Adam Rakunas 12.11.08 @ 4:39 pm
For the love of God, put this in your robots.txt before Lucas or one of his minions stumbles across it.
Comment by Evan Goer 12.11.08 @ 4:35 pm