Sweet Baby Jebus.

That was disgusting.

One of the guys in the office brought in a few boxes of U-Turn energy bars. At first, I thought he was trying to give us a healthy alternative to wasabi peas. Now I think he's trying to kill us.

The first hint should have been the label that said “Designer Protein Whey.” Right off the bat, I know that's code for “This will taste like crap, but you're trying to be a health freak, so you won't care. This bar could be made of recycled French politicians, but you'd eat it anyway if the label said it was healthy. Fool.”

It's not the initial bite that blows, but the aftertaste. It is awful. It is sicky sweet vile, and now it's stuck to my teeth like some kind of napalm for my taste buds: sticky flavor action that never goes away! Gad.

This is, of course, no one's fault but my own. I could've made an AB&J, I could've brought fruit, hell, I could've run to Taco Hell for a packet of hot sauce, but no. I had to be cheap and eat the free samples. Let's hope the flavor will be gone by dinner time.