So far, the Santa Monica Chamber of Commerce is winning the Political Junk Mail race. The current score:
SMCoC: 4. They also win the He Who Casts The First Stone Award for sending us their first glossy flyer back in May.
The Team for Change (aka The Slate With The Guy Whose Tie Is Always Loosened): 1. They were a close second for the Whining Bitches Award, and lost to the SMCoC due to the winner’s volume of junk mail.
Bobby Shriver: 1. It was quite a nice letter, though I’m afraid he’s going to be known as The Hedge Guy unless he starts pouring on the charm (ie sending out more goddamn letters like the one we got today).
The People Who Really Don’t Like Michael Feinstein: 1. They win the Environmentally Friendly Junk Mail Award, because they sent their gripes via email.
With only Too Many Days to go until the election, I know you’re all wetting your pants to see who’s going to come in first in the Junk Mail Derby. Now that one of the members of the Team for Change has the endorsement of the SMCoC, I think it’s going to be a close race to see who pisses me off the most with their mailers. And, Jebus, we haven’t even started with the propositions.
The DNC wins on the national level, and I blame Howard Dean for that. No, not because he sold my name to the DNC (though, hey, you never know), but because I was so amped about his candidacy that I actually gave the bastards money. Hey, guys, can I at least get a handjob for that cash?
UPDATE: Now that I’ve learned that Bobby Shriver has also gotten the SMCoC’s endorsement, I think this will change the amount of mail we’re about to get. I think the SMCoC will win for sheer volume, but I think Shriver will come in a close second. I also now realize that when people refer to him, more will use the word “Kennedy” than “hedge.”
The Team With Loosened Tie Guy, I’m sure, will still be in a tight race with the SMCoC for being the most annoying political entity in the city this campaign cycle.