This just in: scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory have reported that President Bush’s balls are now visible from space without the aid of a telescope.
“It’s quite remarkable,” said scientist John Specks at JPL. “Back when he was running the first time, saying he was a ‘reformer with results’, we could only see his balls with satellite imagining. As the Bush Administration has continued, talking about WMD’s and connecting 9/11 with Iraq, his balls only got bigger. We’re having a hard time maintaining image resolution because of the incredible growth rate.”
With his current statements about not meeting Cindy Sheehan and that “it’s also important for me to go on with my life,” President Bush’s testicles have grown to such proportions that they are visible with the naked eye from near earth orbit.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Flight Engineer John Phillips, stationed on the International Space Station. “Even when he was taunting Iraqi insurgents with his ‘Bring it on’ talk, we still needed telescopes. But not anymore. Man! Would you look at that balls on that guy!”
The White House had no comment.