On the one hand, I don’t want to see The Da Vinci Code because I think it’s going to suck; it’s a SciFi Network B-movie with a gravitas-lift (Tom Hanks instead of, say, Lance Henriksen) and a baddie transplant (Opus Dei instead of…Mansquito!). Dan Brown has made enough money, and I don’t want Sony rewarding him by commissioning Da Vinci Code 2: Opus Dei Can You See?.

On the other hand, anything that pisses off Bill Donohue can’t be all that bad.

So, what to do? Simple. Pirate the movie, slap a couple of flatscreens on a truck, then park that sucker across the street from a Catholic League protest. That way, everyone wins.