…using the words “you need” when asking me to do something will not get you the intended result. Or any result at all. Unless the request is “You need to step over here in order to keep from Godzilla from stepping on you” or “You need to get in this line if you want an Everlasting Strawberry Orgasm Doughnut. That line is for getting radioactive scorpion enemas.”

Just so we’re clear.