Jewelry merchants and car salesmen share the same circle of Hell. There, they wear pinkie rings that blind them and smoke endless Camel Lites that burn their lungs while swilling down coffee that's made from the tears of customers they've ripped off. They are tormented by the wails of frustrated […]

Up and Down

More days than not, I feel hopeful. It's a light, airy feeling, one that carries me through the day. It's like spring sunlight, or bread that's just come out of the oven. It's energizing, a feeling that I can go on forever. Sometimes, though, I come back to earth, and […]

Spreading Santorum

Dear Mom- I have no problem with you reading this page. Hell, I'm glad you do, if only so you know I'm alive and typing and not buried under a pile of PowerBar wrappers in the middle of my living room while The Sopranos plays on infinite repeat. It saves […]

DVDs Blow

Note to the good people who wrote the DMCA and the CSS: fuck you and the horses you rode in on. Yes, I know you guys need to protect your investments. I know you're scared out of your minds about losing money with DVD piracy. I can appreciate that. But […]

Armistice Day

This day used to be called Armistice Day. On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, everyone who'd been busy shooting and bombing and generally trying to make each other's lives miserable would put down their guns, step away from the cannons, and just stop. The […]