It rained yesterday, and something got screwed up. See, rain in Los Angeles means clean skies, clean air, clean cars. It means renewal. It means the city’s gotten a fresh start.

Instead, we got The Stench. Like someone had just scraped all the gunk out of every dumpster in the county, figured out how to synthesize the odor, and sprayed it everywhere. It didn’t matter where you were, apparently; The Stench was all over. It followed me down the 405 to Gardena, and drifted as far east as Melrose. I don’t know if it was red tide-infested water that got sucked up by the clouds and vomited over the city or something evil in the ground that had the chance to bubble up or what. But, jebus, whoever’s in charge of ordering up our weather, please double-check your invoice before you take the next delivery. I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean to tick off the box next to “Shitstorm.”