As we know, that’s German for “The, Office, The,” and anything written in German can’t be bad.

I’ve had to use Office in my past two gigs, and I want to find the people responsible for Excel and Outlook 2000 and give them the business. Why do these programs suck so much? Why does Excel create a link for anything that starts with “www.” but throws up at anything else? Why does Outlook not give me an easy way to auto-fill an email address? Why in hell are we still using such shitty, shitty software?