This is something I do every now and then. It’s one thing to do something poetic and write out life goals and burn the paper and scatter the ashes to the four winds while a ten-piece Incan pipe band plays in the background, but who has time for that shit? Besides, the Internet has memory, and I want to remember this during the Dark Moments Of The Soul when I’m staring at a blank screen and wondering, “Jebus…who the hell am I kidding?”


I will put in my hour of writing at lunch and my hour of editing at bedtime. That’s all the time I’ve got right now if I want to maintain my job, my health and my marriage. Besides, I work better under deadline pressure.

By May, I will have reworked “The Right People.” By June, “Tall in the Saddle.” And by July, “Making Numbers” (gratuitous sexuality my ass). And I will not retire those stories until they’re done.

I will finish the story with the working title of “Serving Mammon” and beat it into shape by the end of April.

I will work on the novel that started with “The Kite.”

I will allow myself thirty seconds of despair every other month (see the first point re: available time).

I will be on both “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” as a guest. And I’ll do it on the same goddamn night.

I will write what entertains and amuses me, though I’ll also listen to valid criticism and advice (see above point re: my ass).

Right. Back to work.