That’s it. I want the future to be here, right the hell now, and I want to start with robot limbs. In particular, robot gardening limbs.

I want legs that will double as rototillers. I want to put on a pair of legs, one of which is a shovel while the other is a spading fork. I want forearms that turn into pruning saws, transplant spades, or those funky Japanese weeding tools. I want to turn my body into a gardening machine, all powered by the sun and the occasional fish emulsion infusion.

This is my roundabout way of saying a) I weeded half of the front yard and b) my entire body is killing me. Robot gardening limbs. Now. Please.